Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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