We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
