I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
