So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
