Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
