It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
