i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He better not be in your backpack
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
