I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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