I smell stomach acid.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
So gin and wine won't be happening again
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
