did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
