It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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