I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize