she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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