I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I could make wine with my vomit
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I am one with the molecules
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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