I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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