I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
