Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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