Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize