U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
