she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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