Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Randomize
