If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
