Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
