I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
