We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
