She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
