Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
