Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
