Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize