Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
