Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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