No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
