i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize