I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
