a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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