I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize