you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
