yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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