So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize