Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
