Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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