Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
