It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
oh god was she eating orange peels again
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
