I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
