I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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