I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
she peed on how many people?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize