That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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