You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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