well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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