Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
