Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
