so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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