I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
