Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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