its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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