so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
