Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
