I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
