butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
