Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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